Choux Creme
by BabyLove1429
Summary: Maka Tanimoto doesn't know what she's in for when she opens a package addressed to her older brother. Maka opens it either way, What does she find? A robot girlfriend that thinks Maka is her boyfriend! With the hosts irating her to the peak and a robot girlfriend that wont stop trying to kiss her, Will love develop either way? Immune to it or not! Note: Expect yuri maybe..!
1. Story of my life

It didn't take me long enough to realize where I was. I was in those damn host's club rooms scraping a smudge that always appears magically in the same place. Don't think I'm doing this for fun, those darn twins made me trip over an aquarium and all of 'The king's' fishes died from lack of water.

I honestly tried to get them back in the water, but Tamaki was bawling over how his little children were so young and how I'm a perverse murder. How the hell am I supposed to save them if you keep pessimistically shouting they're dead in my ear!

I'm tired. Lord help me, these morons keep messing with my life and somehow I always end up cleaning after their messes and taking the blame.

"You cleaned it enough."

"The smudge is still there. What the hell? How the hell did a cookie end up preserved like a fossil into the wall?! You know what, no comment."

Kyoya sighed and handed me a towel. "You're all sweaty, It's ridiculously unattractive. You're far worse than Haruhi."

"Well forgive me for not being as pretentiously beautiful as her. My hair is as short as hers and it's all tousled, how the crap does it always stay in place?"

"Try Head n' Shoulders."

"I don't even care."

I lifted myself up and headed for the door. The last thing I wanted was to hear Tamaki rant about how all women are beautiful and that I just hadn't blossomed yet. Oh would you look at that, he started.

"Donot worry Maka-chan! You're hair will look beautiful in no time! Kyoya, hurry, bring the Windex."

"Do you want to make me bald?"I shout.

"We don't know,"

"Windex fixes everything." The twins say in the inevitable order of which Hikaru always starts and Kaoru finishes their irrelevant slants.

"It really does."

"You know what?! I don't have time for this!" I stomp out of their for good, two stories already down before I realize I forgot my books. Whatever, Haruhi always gets them anyway.

/

"Welcome home~!" My face crumples. Oh look, it's the welcoming committee.

"Sweetie, how was school?" My idiotic older brother asks as I pour myself a glass of fresh cold milk.

"Depraved."

"Don't tell me those hosts are still bothering you! I'll go castrate them right now!" He shouts with a butcher knife in hand.

"I take it back. My life is depraved."

My parents are overseas, so I live with my brother Natsu in a large mansion. That's right, just the two of us. Lord forbid me from asphyxiating before my parents return, I have the help as witnesses. Natsu's hugs are deadly.

"By the way Maka, I'll be going on vacation to Mexico soon."

"Why? It's the middle of the year."

"Does it matter? In Mexico they party all the time!" He exclaims, with a random sombrero on. "You know what they say! When in Rome, do as the Mexicans do! Ole!"

"That didn't make any sense." I gulped down my glass and headed for my room. "Don't you dare go in my room while I'm sleeping you child molester!"

"I'm only nine years older than you! You sixteen year olds can't even tell the difference between a urethra and a uterus." He pouts.

"Hah?"

"Nevermind! I need to pack!"

Jesus. This guy seriously needs to get married and get the heck out of here. I throw myself onto my bed and stare at the clock. How I wish time could stop and I'd be in this silent peace forever.

"Figarou! Figarou! Figarou figarou figarou!"

I take it back.

Thanks for reading. I don't own OHSHC.


	2. Foreign bananas

"AP Psychology is draining my brain."I sigh. I invited Haruhi over for studying at my mansion after many attempts to finish my review packets, but procrastination prevented me so.

"Why are you in Class A then? To be honest, your test scores are horrible."

"I know, but my parents bribed Tamaki's dad to give me Advanced Placement."I muttered through my sleeve.

"Even so, you should talk about tutoring to your parents."

"Haruhi~~~~!"

Oh god no. Standing outside my bedroom window was the troublesome three.

"What is Tamaki doing here?"

"Damn them barging into my property, I should have set up the security system. " I even went through the touble of getting ferocious maneating guard dogs.

Like always, they let themselves in. Tamaki rummaging through my closets scans for the slightest sight of feminine attire but is dismayed.

"Haruhi! Maka-chan is a bad influence for you, I forbid you from seeing her!"

"Don't yell in my house like you have authority." I retort.

"You wear such plain panties, How-"

"disappointing."

"You two get out of my drawers!"

"Why?" Hikaru asks.

Are they really asking why? Ugh, whatever. I set my AP World History book on my lap. Okay, time to study.

"Maka-chan, do you have bananas?"

They atleast settled down. The twins were playing their gameboys while they are sprawled on my bed, without even taking off their shoes. Are they really Japanese?

"There is some on the dinner table."

Tamaki leaped happily out of the room for a banana.

"Maka, do you know number six?" Haruhi asked.

"Does this like a face that has even finished the first question?" I ask, pointing to my face.

"It looks like a forever alone face." The twins say in synchronization.

"Your hairs are orange. Do you know what I do to oranges?" I reply apathetically.

Suddenly you hear Tamaki scream like a girl. He scurries back and jumps on Haruhi's lap. "I picked up an orange and it exploded blood!"

I glance at the twins.

"You know Maka-chan, we can always-"

"Get along." They suddenly wrap their arms around me.

"I think we'd get along when my milk carton tells me your brain's are no longer considered missing."

* * *

"Alright Maka, I'm off! Don't forget to water the flowers! And putting on the alarm system! And updating your status! And watching that new Ashton Kutcher movie-"

"Just shut up already! All those things you said just now aren't even related to eachother!"

"Arent you going to miss me?"

"Not really."

"What?!"

How could I miss him? Almost the entire mansion is decorated with portraits, and don't get me started on the one on the toilet sink in his bathroom. Never again.

He calmed down and after almost sentencing me to death he heads for the gate, already dressed like a stereotypical Mexican with a poncho and everything.

I sighed and waved goodbye, it was the least I could, I mean he'll be gone for a few months.

After the plane leaves, I head for a bakery post in the airport because when you're in an airport you get cravings for crap that you obviously cant get in an airport. Of course, society has its way of giving irrelevant people what they want.

"Thank you for coming, is there any thing that you want in particular."

"Giving me that ball shaped thing."

She carefully takes it out like if she dropped it I would suddenly turn all Hulk Smash on her.

"Thanks. What is it called?"

"Choux crème." She replies.

"Oh I get it, the U and the X are silent. Good call."

She giggles. "It means Cream Puff in French."

"ohhhhh…" I say. Then take a bite out of it. "Holy Hogwartz, this is delicious."

"Yes, it looks plain, but it's a favorite."

I order another one to feed my fatty needs. Nah, I'll just give it to Haruhi.

* * *

The next morning I get an international call. "Hello?"

"Maka? Have you received a package yet?"

"No…It's not even Tuesday."

He takes a deep breath. "I ordered something online, I'm supposed to receive it today."

"Don't tell me you ordered Foreign bananas again, Tamaki had a spasm after eating one."

"It's not bananas! You'll see. Listen me, when they ask for Natsu Tanimoto, say it's you."

"You smuggled the bananas to Mexico."

"Listen to me! I' m being serious here, have I ever been serious?"

"On April Fools day when you trolled everyone into thinking you were Nicolas Cage."

He sighs. "Just pretend to be me and receive the package, I promise I'll make it up to you."

I let out a defiant sigh and gave in. "Alright."

"Thank you! Now give onii-chan a ki-"

I hang up and head up to my room. My brother is an idiot to think I would pretend to be him, do I look like a twenty year old man who's cheese puffs stain act like his beard?

Whatever he was up to, I know I'll have to clean it up. No doubt about that.

* * *

The doorbell wakes me up from my dream of ponies and rainbows. Damn those bananas.

"Oh, I apologize, Master Natsu is-"

"Right here! Heheheh,"I push the maid away like it's nobody's business.

"Mistress Ma-"

"Clarice, go make me a sandwich!"

She looks at me confused and suspicious then heads for the kitchen.

"So, is my package here?"

"No doubt about it. Here ya go, sign here, your social security number, your passport, your drivers lisence, your biological origins, blemishes, hidden birthmarks-"

"I got it! I got it! What are you my ex-wife?"

I sign and grab the large crate.

"Woah, wait. Where's your purchase money?"

"Purchase money?"

"You promised to pay the full price at the door."

Brother, you are such an idiot.

"Alright, how much is it?"

"One million yen."

"What?! That's more than I have in pocket money!" Haruhi got me in the habit of carrying two hundred yen in my pocket. Crap, I'm turning into her kind.

"Please pay the full price before receiving the product."

Screw brothers. They always end up coning you.

~Thanks for reading :)


	3. SELF DESTRUCTING IN: 5,4, 3, 2

My eye twitched. I just payed one million yen to man who I've never even seen in my life. Are foreign bananas really worth that much money?! Well, they are foreign, damn them Canadians.

I glare at the crate and examine its wooden texture, it has 'danger lions inside' written on the sides. Damn re-usable crates.

My phone rings. "What?"

"Did ya get it yet? Didya? Didya? Didya? Didya? Di-"

"I GOT IT DAMNIT!"

"Oh….."

"Do you know how much money you just took from me? We're not that rich!"

"Look! Im so sorry! I'll make it up to you! But whatever you do, don't open until I come home! What's inside is priceless-"

"Priceless my ass!"

"Anyway! Don't open it!"

"Oh, I'm gonna open it,"

"No don't!"

"You're going to suffer now!"

I hung up. "Clarice, take this phone from my presence! Don't answer any calls, if you forget for a second, and answer, tell him I twerked it, and then I broke it. He'll know what I mean."

Clarice took my phone and walked away suspicious of me. I picked up the crate, and well, would you look at that? It's not even heavy.

* * *

"The mountains? Why?"

Tamaki leaped into the sky happily. "It'll be a wonderful bonding time with your beloved daddy! Whatdya say?"

Haruhi sighed. "I have to study."

"Don't be such a nerd Haruhi!" Hikaru starts,

"Yeah, its not good for your metabolism."Kaoru finishes.

"What does my metabolism have to do with-"

I slam the door open. "Why the hell are you relaxing in my garden! Not you Haruhi, you're welcome all the time."

"Thanks."

"Anyway! Haruhi! Come with me!" I pull her by the arm and head back inside. I figured if Haruhi knows how to open packages, after all she always orders cheap things online.

Taking her to my room, we both stare at the package. "What is it?"

"I have no idea, open it for me."

She sighs and mutters something ineligible. After almost five minutes, Haruhi manages to open it.

"Should I open it all the way?"

"Yes!" I decide to open it myself.

I slam the crate open.

"Eh."

Standing before us, was a girl no older than us. She was completely naked, and her hair was the color of peaches.

"Oh my god! My brother bought a prostitute off the black market!" I cover poor Haruhi's virgin eyes.

She removes my hands. "More importantly, she's not alive. See?"

I scream in fright as Haruhi touches the girl's chest. Haruhi was right, she wasn't breathing, but that's not the issue.

"There is a naked dead prostitute in my- "

"Be quiet, you'll make Tamaki come rushing up here!"

I calmed myself down. "Now what."

"I don't know,call the police."

I think about it. Bringing the po-po in this will only make us suspects of murder, and aint nobody got time for that!

"Hey look an envelope."Haruhi picks it up and reads it. "_Dear Natsu Tanimoto, thank you for purchasing with our company and we gladly receive your patronage,_

_Here we present, Peach Bliss 01, we hope you enjoy our latest product. Turn her on before 30 minutes pass with her as your product to prevent self destruction."_

Self destruction?! Who would buy something that self destructs?! On top of that, some kind of blow up doll!

I glance at Haruhi, who has a bewildered face as she still reads it aloud. "_The products lips have a sensor in which it can recognize its owner, this is the way in which it may turn on."_

"Oh. Owner! Let's wait until Natsu comes back!"

Haruhi interrupts me. "Didn't you hear? When did you purchase this?"

"I don't know, three o'clock."

Haruhi glances at her clock. "It's three twenty-eight, hurry up and kiss it."

"What?!" I almost fall over. "You expect me to kiss it?!"

Haruhi seems rather calm about the situation. "We are two minutes away from self destruction, Do you want to die?"

She was right. I hate it when she's right, she makes me sound as irrelevant as those stupid hosts. "Why don't you kiss it!"

"You bought it! I already have enough with my debt of the host club, I'll never be able to pay you back."

Damn it. I had to, but I swear brother, when you come home…

You are minced meat.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :D DISCLAIMER: I DONOT OWN OHSHC.**


	4. Hello, boyfriend

I was stalling. At this rate, we were fifty three seconds from ultimate death, and only I could save the world.

Or more likely I'd save thirty acres of the world, come on, let's be rational here.

"five seconds!"

Holy crap! How am I supposed to kiss a naked girl?! I'm not DEPRAVED!

"Five, four, three, two."

Haruhi is enjoying this! "one!" Never mind that right now!

I push myself and press my lips against its lips.

The room fell silent. I kept my eyes shut, and waited. Why would I wait?! Why didn't I do some Matrix crap and jump behind my bed? That would have been awesome.

"Finally."Haruhi laughs.

"What do you mean Finally?!" I said wiping my lips.

"I lied."

"You lied?! Why?"I demanded.

"How else would I get you to kiss it?" She chuckles.

Im going to kill her. "Say hello to Asphyxiation!" I leap for her neck.

"Hello, boyfriend."

I stop for a moment. Did it just speak? I could have sworn it just spoke. Haruhi and I both turned our attention to the nude robot.

It looked alive. It looked human! It's cheeks were rosy and it had the cutest smile that hapy-go-luckied the atmosphere.

Before I could mutter out anything that would make me sound like I had this situation under control, it jumped onto me and hugged me. "Let's go on a date!"

WHAT?!

* * *

"What's taking them so long?" Hikaru asks staring up at the window.

"It's so boring without either one of them."The twins both said in synch.

Tamaki paced around. "I knew it! Maka-chan is jealous of Haruhi's luscious hair that she has decided to shave it off!"

He squealed in fright as he imagined Haruhi without hair.

Kyoya glanced up at the window. He could see a large brow crate. Suddenly, Maka-chan peeks out, jolts, then shuts the curtains.

"Well that's suspicous.."

* * *

"Get it off me!" I shouted. It was hugging me so romantically, and its skin felt so real, along with two twin body parts she keeps rubbing on me!

"Hey, can you let go of her for a second?" Great, Haruhi is trying to communicate with it. Who knows, it could speak some sort of alien language!

"But she's my boyfriend.." She says, teary eyed. What the crap?! Robots don't cry!

"You can have her all to yourself, once we resolve this situation." Haruhi says, with her boyish charm that she uses when she's hosting.

"Okay!" She kisses my cheek and frolics to the bed.

I franticly wipe my cheek. "What now?!"

Haruhi thinks for a moment, as she scans through the manual. "It's a lovers robot, it apparently acts as your lover."

"Don't tell me…"

My brother was THAT desperate?! What the hell is wrong with just hitting on some girl? Its not like getting a girlfriend is that hard!

"She thinks you're her boyfriend."

"Eh?" I look over at it. It blows me a kiss, and I turn around quickly. Clearly robots are not informed well about anatomy.

"Why don't we get it some clothes?" Haruhi awkwardly says.

No kidding. I don't want to look at its plastic reproductive parts all day long! Ugh, now I sound like a sex offender…

* * *

"Haruhi~! Can we come in?"

CRAP.

After it reluctantly refused to put on clothes(unless I did it), we managed to put on a simple t-shirt and shorts on it.

What'll I do now? If the hosts find out about it, Ill never hear the end of it!

Like always, Tamaki bursts through the door. He glances at our position, Haruhi trying to put shorts onto it, as the shorts reached up to her thighs; while it was clinging to my neck with its lips puffed. Dear lord, why does it have to look so wrong?

* * *

**Thanks for reading!:3 DISCLAIMER: I DONOT OWN OHSHC!**


	5. Me, girl You, boyfriend! WHAT!

**A/N: I update once a day to be the most frequent during the week. On weekends, I usually update twice, but since there was no school or work today for me, its part of my weekend,, tomorrow as well!**

* * *

Haruhi spoke before they could react.

"Cant you knock?! Get out!"

"Ha-haru-hi what's the m-meaning of this!" Tamaki actually had to quit. The others had their mouths open.

"Just get out!" I shout, and they do.

I sigh. This will be so awkward to explain.

Once we successfully dress the robot female thang, we sit down exhausted on my bed, and like all day, it is still hugging me.

"Okay, first, we need to contact your brother, we'll figure this out."

Haruhi calls Natsu, while I try to pull this thing off me.

"Can you cling less?!"

She giggles. "It's only natural to love my boyfriend."

I pull her off, and set her on the bed. "Okay, for starters, I'm not your boyfriend! I am a girl, and you are a subhuman species that looks like a girl, so putting everything down, it's logically impossible for me to be your boyfriend! Me,girl, you, looks like a girl."

She happily replies. "Me, girl, you boyfriend."

"Ugh, wrong!" I shout, now vigorously attempting to bury my fingers into my head.

"Here, " Haruhi hands me the phone.

"Yo,"My brother says.

"Why the hell would you buy yourself a lover online?! Are you a lonely rapist?! Huh?! Huh?!"

"I told you not to open it! Man! My precious robot I spent so much time waiting to order is no longer mine!"

"What do you mean?! I spent a whole years worth of money covering our ass, and now you say it's not yours?!"

He sighs. "It's yours now, Maka."

I stop for moment. "No it's not!"

"Yes it is! You bought it, you kissed it, now it knows your its owner!"

He means to tell me, that after all this, it's now mine? No way!

"Well, if it's now mine, I'm going to return it!"

"You cant! Read the manual…"

I grabbed the manual and flipped to the terms and conditions page.

_Once purchased, you can no longer return it for refund after two hours of with your new product._

It's way past two hours now.

"So, Maka, what will happen now? Will you use her to her full content?"

"Shut up!"

I stand up, and put Natsu on speaker.

"Listen to me now, I have no idea what Ill do now, my brain is too preoocupied with all that's happened. Therefore, for now, I guess we'll have to deal with it."

I point at it. "No more clinging! And no more of rubbing your little cream puffs on me!"

Yeah, Cream puffs. Choux Crème, eh? I get it now. "Your name, is now Chou Otomina!

Her face lit up and she leaped into my arms. "Yay~! I have a name now! Im so happy! Chou Otomina, Maka Tanimoto's girlfriend!"

What did I put myself into…

* * *

We all stood in front of the hosts, somehow we managed to get Chou from clinging on to me. Thank you lord.

Haruhi spoke first, "You guys, this is Chou Otonami."

It happily presented herself. "Nice to meet you, according to my calculations, Maka-kun really hates you."

How the hell does it know that? It speaks just like Kyoya…. Is Kyoya a robot?

The twins burst out laughing. "Kun! She just added kun! We like her already!"

Damn them. It still hasn't grasp the fact that I am not a boy.

It grabs my hand. "I'm Maka-kun's-"

"Cousin!" I shout. "Her family's a friend of ours, we've been rather close for years!"

Nice one. I mentally slap myself on the back.

"Otonami, eh? The Tanimoto's have never been affiliated with a family by the name of Otonami," Crap. Kyoya was scanning through his book again.

"Its recent! Like, 2010 recent! Man, is it 2013 already? Didn't notice." I needed to calm myself down, I sound all antsy.

"Anyway, the scene you caught, " I continued. "Was because Chou was on a bikini all day type of strike, I had to get Haruhi to help me dress her."

Tamaki seemed to have recovered, a toilet paper roll practically stuffed up his nose. "Of course! My daughter couldn't have been so impure! Nice to meet you,Chou-chan, I'm Tamaki Suoh, Please do join us at the host club." He extended it a rose.

"No!" It clinged to my arm. "I'm faithful to Maka-kun!"

"Isn't that something that you would say about your boyfriend, Otonami-san?" Kyoya asked.

"Yep! Because Maka-kun is-"

Haruhi(Thank god!) interjected. "Chou-chan jokes around that Maka is her boyfriend, since they get along so well."

Not THAT well.

* * *

"Good night my love~!"

I shift to my side. "Gah! What the hell!"

It was hugging me in bed, and on top of that, it was naked!

"Put some clothes on!"

"But, I want to do it with Maka-kun."

"EH?!" Okay, it wants to do it with me?! Newsflash, that's anatomically impossible!

I pull her of me, and put a pillow between us. "There, if you wanna be naked, then be naked! But we are not doing it, you got that?"

It makes a sad face. "Is Maka-kun mad? Doing it always makes boyfriends happy."

One problem. I'm not your boyfriend, neither am I a boy, so there's no way that's making me happy!

"Just go to sleep."

"Good night, Maka-kun."

"Goodnight." I mutter sleepily.

"I love you Maka-kun."

"Circumstantially, in a different dimension in which you are a human and I am a male, me too."

It goes quiet. I turn around, and it looks just as it looked, hours before. Without life.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :3 DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OHSHC!**


	6. If we dont kiss, it's unhealthy for us

"Fuck you mosquitoes!" I go all Light Saber on a mosquito on my arm, slapping it with a rolled up map.

Chou giggles, and cuddled on to my arm. "You're so funny, Maka-kun. That's why I love you!"

The hosts planned a camping trip for the summer, and we've hiked for hours! Of course, since Haruhi wouldn't go without me, and Chou was practically a mosquito that automatically had to be with me everywhere; we're all here.

Since neither Haruhi nor I had any clothes that would fit Chou, considering her breasts were far larger than ours, we had to go shopping. Oh lord, how terrifying it was, you wouldn't believe.

"Alright, lets head into Forever 21, that's where all the girly crap is at." I said, looking down at a map of stores.

"Are you kidding me? That's the most expensive store in this mall…" Haruhi muttered in despair. "Then again, you have money piling on you."

That wasn't necessarily true, I just waited one million of my inheritance. "I guess, it is an international store. Let's just go to the Sales section."

I wasn't used to shopping, so this was awkward. "Alright, lets start by getting it a bra….they're peeking through the shirt…"

"Here!" I handed it the first bra I could find. "Go try it on in there!"

"Maka-kun will not go too?"

"I don't need a bra right now."

"But I want Maka-kun to be with me!"

"No!" I push her in, and quickly shut the curtains. "Hurry up and put those over the shoulder boulder holders on!"

After a few minutes, it opens the curtains. "Maka-kun~! How does it look on me?"

She gives me a happy smile, and pulls me inside. "What the-"

"Maka-kun~! Put the shirt on me~!

"You've got hands!"

She makes a pouty face, and wraps her hands around my neck. "Can we kiss Maka-kun?"

"No!" I push her back. Why am I referring to it as human being?

"Maka-kun doesn't like me?"

"Of course I don't! You're an appliance, it doesn't even matter."

She was quiet a moment, then returned to normal. "According to my system, Maka-kun has never been aroused by me not even once."

How the hell would she know… "Look, I don't think it'll be possible for me to be aroused by the female anatomy. I'm not like Haruhi…"

Of course Im not like Haruhi, if she was in this situation, she probably be nicer to Chou, and probably enjoy it. Damn her and her indifference in anatomy.

* * *

I sighed, and kept walking.

"Hi you guys~!" Honey-senpai greeted us at Kyoya's villa. It's been a while since I met the little guy, a year huh? Come t think of it, he's an adult now, and he still looks like a fourth grader.

"Honey-senpai!" Haruhi happily hugged him, I had the urge to as well, but I was already being hugged.

"Maka-kun, you look the same!"

No kidding. My body has the development span of a turtle; so does Haruhi, thank you very much.

"Honey-senpai, this is Chou Otonami, Maka-kun's cousin." The twins say, pointing towards Chou.

"How dare you address me like we're well acquainted!" Damn them. I sigh exhausted, throwing myself aback on the couch. This stupid crap hasn't even started and I'm already exhausted.

Everyone else takes a seat, Chou tries to sit on my lap, but legitimately fails.

"Honey-senpai why have you returned from Switzerland?" Haruhi asks, once we are all comfy by the chimney.

"I actually just finished a mission with Takashi, it sure was a tough one!" He says, munching on a large truffle.

"Is it the one about the Con-artist's new business?" Kyoya adds in.

"Yeah! You'll never guess! They attempting to smuggle illegal merchandise through Mexico, Takashi took them all out before they could get to Japan."

"That's stupid, why smuggle crap when you can sell them off the underground market?" I add in.

"That's what's strange, " Honey-senpai added. "They rip people off by asking for one million yen, claiming their product is worth it, but the minute you don't notice, they take it right back!"

"Good thing they were caught," Haruhi says. "What exactly do they smuggle?"

"Varying in things!"Honey-senpai replies. "From Ipads, to Karaoke systems, TV's, cars, persocoms, all things that anyone would want."

Or maybe a life-size sex doll? I glance at Chou, and she happily plays with my fingers under the table. Nah, I'm thinking too much. Could I actually been conned? By my brother? It's too impossible, my brother is too much of an idiot to be a con artist. Thinking about it now, Chou looks worth what I payed her, she blends in with all humans, who would con someone with something so well made?

* * *

"Chou-chan, do you want some hot chocolate?" Kaoru asked.

"Su-" I grab the cup before it reaches her fingers.

"Chou has diabetes, she needs to take a shot before she eats. Let's go Chou."

Chou follows me eagerly to the hallway. "Are we going to kiss?"

"Of course not! Listen Chou, can you eat food?" I ask.

She doesn't hesitate to respond. "It is not necessary for me to eat for nutrition like Maka-kun does, but I can eat if Maka-kun wants to me too. The food will be stored upon release."

That's a another way to put it. "I'll tell that to Haruhi next time she makes me eat Spicy Tofu…"

"Maka-kun! Let's kiss!" She wraps her arms around my neck. "We have not kissed once, it's unhealthy in our relationship."

What relationship?! You're just a sex doll that rapes the human! "Okay, no more of this fluffy seductive crap! From now on, when we are near those mofo's, don't act like we're dating! As a matter of fact, we aren't even! Do I have to lecture you about Anatomy for the hundredth time?"

She takes a second to process what I just said, then smiles like normal. "Very well, if that's what Maka-kun wishes, I'm okay with it. I will act more like a normal girl and finally arouse Maka-kun. Then we can finally have the best sex ever!"

"ugh. Just, Just shut up! F-fine, if that makes you stop." Hopefully she will eventually stop asking for the anatomically impossible.

She hugs me. "Okay! Maka-kun it's a promise!"

My god. When did I become a freaking sex victim?

* * *

Thanks for reading! :3 Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN OHSHC!


	7. You know you're being raped when

We are still trapped in the mountains, or I would say, because I was the one who could care less about being here. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck in a three-story cabin with a bunch of egotistic teenage boys and their little cross-dressing friend. Oh, and did I mention that there is also a sex doll that came to life all of a sudden and can't tell the difference between boys and girls?! FML.

"Tomorrow we should go swimming! How bout it Haruhi?" Tamaki asked, his eyes filled with sparkly wonder.

"No thanks, I'm not a swimmer."

Lie. Yesterday you dropped your wallet in the lake and spent an hour looking for it.

"We have a better idea boss." The twins chanted in perfect synch that never fails.

"How about," Hikaru started.

"We have a," Kaoru continues,

"Scavenger hunt." They brought up a flashlight to their twin faces. "Right now."

"Don't you think it's to dark for that?" Haruhi asked.

Tamaki was suddenly standing on the table. "Not at all! Brilliant idea twins! This way Haruhi will be so frightened from the darkness, she'll have to leap into my arms!"

Haruhi ignored the last part. "That sounds like a good idea, it also helps with nature physics, we have an exam on Monday."

"God, really?"I groan. "I was hoping to take a nap on Monday."

"Why would you,"

"Nap in class?" The twins ask, always appearing behind me for some weird reason.

"Says the ones who skipped an important lecture, to play video games in the Nerd Club's room." I say back.

"It's the Robotics club." Haruhi states.

"And we weren't playing video games, we were helping them test out their projects." They add.

"Oh really, was the project, Play Call of Duty for two hours straight while everyone else spends her time listening to a boring lecture?!" I retort.

"You know Maka-kun, you've been really grouch lately. Are you PMSing?"

"Keep calling me that and I'll feed you to Tamaki's new fishes! And I don't PMS!" I shout throwing couch pillows at them.

"What's PMS?" Chou asks Honey-senpai.

"Purple Monster Status." Honey-senpai replies.

"Maka-kun is purple monster?" Chou asks, tilting her head.

"Yep." Honey-senpai replies.

Sometimes I wonder if Honey-senpai really is that innocent, I mean he's nineteen already!

"Maka-kun doesn't have Pre-menstrual Symptoms because she hasn- " I cover Haruhi's mouth.

"SHHH!"

"Don't tell me…"Tamaki asks. "That you…"

"Shutup Tamaki!" I shout.

"Oh we see now…"The twins finally say now. "Maka-kun, you haven't hit puberty, have you?"

Hikaru holds my chin up to face him. "Interesting…"

"It's none of your business wether I hit puberty or not anyway!" I shout, somehow still holding Haruhi's mouth.

The twins both smirk. "Since Maka-kun has not hit puberty, she is not fully a woman!"

"I will accuse you of deprave!" I shout walking away from them.

"Maka-kun…."Hikaru starts.

"We have thought very wrong of you…"

"You don't deserve to wear panties!"

"What?!"

I find myself being chased around the cabin, up the stairs, around the dining table, in and out of the rooms until I finally lock myself in a room.

"Mother of god." I say panting. These guys will one day give me asthma attack and I will sue them.

"You know it's rude to walk into a room that is occupied."

What?! I whip around frightened only to see Kyoya sitting on a rocking chair with his black notebook.

"Oh, it's you. " I say dismayed.

"Why do you sound disappointed?"

"I thought you were some rapist and I was about to drop-kick you in the balls so you will never rape again."I said.

He took off his glasses. "You're as comical as always."

Did he have to say that so bluntly?

"About your cousin," He starts. "It was interesting how you managed to cover up her real purpose. Peach Bliss 01, am I correct?"

"How the-"

"You know you really shouldn't have left the crate in your room, along with the letter and instruction manual."

Crap. I should have expected him from the beginning! He's the shadow king after all, after all these years of knowing him, he always sees right through me. Damn him.

"I could explain…"

He stands up. "There is no explaining to do, Maka. It's all clear. Why would you resort to buying a sex doll, when you could have easily asked me."

Before I knew it, I was thrown onto the bed. Kyoya's body was on top of me all of a sudden. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and looked down upon me squinting.

"W-what are you doin-"

"Shh."He held his finger to my lips. "Did you really think I wouldn't make a move on you in dimly lit room?"

"I knew it. You are a rapist."

"It's not considered rape if you asked for it." He replies. "All your actions explained how much you wanted me to make a move on you."

He really does sound like a rapist. Damn it. It's always the ones with the glasses. When did it turn out like this? And why am I so calm? I'm about to get raped, aren't i?

"So, do you want me to enter you?"He asks. His hands gripping the sheets. He looks strained.

Oh god. For the first time in my life I actually realized something. "You're… trying to protect me aren't you?"

He stared down at me. Am I wrong? No?

"You know something about Chou, don't you?"

He finally lifts himself up and puts his glasses on. "I thought I would actually have to have sex with you before you realized."

Thank god I did. "What do you know?"

He sits back on his chair. "First of all, I searched up the company she was bought from, sea-breeze Heaven." He says. "I found no records of it."

"So was I conned?"

"Thinking about the amount of money you payed and the product, I'd say it was a fair price. It's both a robot and a sex doll, so those two concepts add up, both of them are expensive."

I look at my fingers, and remembered how Chou plays with them. "It doesn't make sense."

"What I found strange, was that the underground market has no records as well, considering the type of product, it is most likely to be marketing in there more than in regular business."

"I didn't buy her, my brother did. I think he mentioned something about buying her online." I mention.

Kyoya looks at me intently. "I'll do some more research. Meanwhile, keep her visualized. And don't get too close to her, you might end up regretting it, we don't know anything about her."

I stand back heading for the door. "Oh, and keep this a secret from everyone else, what if no one is supposed to know? And also it's really pathetically embarrassing."

He chuckles. "Of course, ."

"Ugh, please don't say that again." I groan. "Do I have to lecture you about anatomy as well?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh! I forgot t mention. Chou isn't lesbian, she actually somehow thinks I'm a boy, and she's my girlfriend."

"How is that possible?" He says. He looks at a scanned version of the instruction manual. Creep. Her really did go into my room.

"Odd, it says that the robot can only be activated by the opposite sex."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :3 DISCLAIMER: I DONOT OWN OHSHC!**


	8. Flashback to pink panties!

"Eh…" I pulled a name from the hat I pulled out and read, "Tamaki Suoh."

"NOOOOO…." He shouted, screaming bloody murder. "Kyoya! Trade with me!"

"That would be defying the rules. Don't you remember the penalty?"

That's right. We are having a test of courage tournament, and the losers had to eat twenty pounds of spicy fried gyoza. I see Tamaki breathe fire every day; so I can't afford to lose.

"Tighten up Tamaki-senpai. If you makes us lose,"I say patting his back with a soft ominous sensation. "I will eat your fishes."

After Tamaki let out a terrified scream, Chou finally picks out a name.

"_Fragrance._" She turns towards Kaoru. "I am looking forward to making you come."

Oh god. She said her sex line. "Ah! That sounded wrong.. she means coming inside of the forest! That sounded wrong too! And Chou! You pronounced it wrong, and Tamaki! Stop writing in Kanji, you know nobody can read that crap!"

She really is a sex robot! Everything she says sounds so depraved!

"Eh, um ok."Kaoru finally mumbles, his face a deep red.

"That was the last one right? Let's go!" Honey senpai chants. "Tamaki and Maka-chan go first! The second pair goes ten minutes later."

I grab Chou quickly and whisper. "I told you to stop saying stuff like that!"

"I couldn't help it, my system told me to say it as a greeting."

"Not to random people! Do you know how emberassing that is to people?!"

Chou makes a sad face. "I a very sorry that I am not pleasing my boyfriend well. I will be sure to decline my system when it asks me too."

"Damn right!"

She grabs my arm. "If I win Maka-kun must give me a kiss as a reward!"

"Don't jump to conclusions!"

"Maka-kun hurry up!

"Or you and the boss give up." The twins say in unison, although Hikaru is away from Kaoru and with Honey-senpai.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go Senpai."

Tamaki gulps and follows me.

* * *

Kaoru and Chou walk in after Honey-senpai and Hikaru.

Kaoru holds the flashlight as Chou walks beside him, looking straight ahead.

"So.. Do you go to our school?"

Chou takes a while to respond. "I hope to go, I must ask Maka-kun first."

"What school do you go to?"

"I do not need school, my system has enough information to please." Chou quickly realizes something.

_No System. We must not say such inhumanly things, although it is the correct information; it does not please my boyfriend!_

"Heh, you're funny Oto-"

Chou's foot hit's a pothole and she slides in.

"Otomina-san! Are you alright?" Kaoru helps her back to her feet.

"It is alright. I do not feel pain." Chou realizes something again. "I think I might have sprained a ligament."

"Can you walk?"

Chou realizes again. _When a human feels pain, they can not stand the pain to move it._

"It hurts my body."

Kaoru bends down. "Here, I'll carry you."

"Will I be too heavy?"

"No. When Hikaru and I were in the basketball team they made us carry two hundred pounds of flour on our backs. It'd be nothing."

Chou jumps on his back and they continue walking.

"Kaoru-san, you and your soul-mate look awfully alike, was your maker too lazy to give you a different face?"

Kaoru laghs. "I guess that's what happened. And I guess Hikaru really is my soul-mate huh.."

"But you are both male. Wouldn't be impossible to please each other?" Yet Chou doesn't realize her own situation sounds similar.

Kaoru almost falls over. "W-wha!"

"I mean, it is unreasonable to have your brother as your lover."

Kaoru blushes. "I-It's not lke that! Hikaru and I just act like that coz the girls at our school just eat it up!"

Chou takes a while to answer. " But it does not seem that you have feelings for your brother, it's a different kind of love. Different from Maka-kun and I."

"You and her are pretty close, huh?"

"We are! Maka-kun is rather to please, however."

Kaoru chuckles. "Yeah, In sixth grade, Hikaru used to pick on her because he liked her. She was the only one who actually talked to us.."

* * *

_Flashback._

"_Let go of my book you blockhead!" Eleven year old Maka exclaimed._

"_You're wrong! This is mine!" Hikaru and Maka were playing Tug a war of death, as the called it. Because someone always ended up getting hurt._

_Maka finally tugged hard enough, that the book ripped apart. "NOOO~!"_

"_You see?! Your ugly face killed it!"_

"_No! You were too orange it fried it too pieces!"_

"_You guys stop fighting!" Kaoru shouted. "Here, Tanimato-san, I will help you pick it up."_

"_Don't touch it with your hands! You two share the same germs!"_

"_The only germ in here is you!"Hikaru shouts._

"_Grr!" Maka launches for his neck when they are interrupted by a teacher._

"_Tanimato-san! Hitachiin-san! This is not a way middle-schoolers should behave! As punishment you two are going to scrub the entire cafeteria!"_

"_EHH..?!"_

_normally, Rich people don't touch the floor; now you know how strict middle-school teachers were._

"_This is your fault Paint-head! I would be taking a nap at home by now!" Maka complained scrubbing the floor._

"_It's no wonder you have dark circles!"_

"_Shut up!" Make splashes soap water at Hikaru._

"_Gah! You stupid sloth!" _

"_I am not a sloth!"  
_

"_Yes you are, you're lazy and smelly and short!"_

"_If I am a sloth then you are a tuna-fish!"_

"_How am I a tuna?"_

"_You are a tuna-fish! Go swim with the rest!" Maka pushes Hikaru intending to make him fall into the tub of water and fails horrible; as Hikaru pulls on her skirt to advert from falling._

"_Ah!" Hikaru stares up at a…pink underwear?!_

"_What?"_

"_Y-you're underwear!" Hikaru points blushing. _

_Maka looks down. "It's just my underwear, what's the big deal?"_

"_It is a big deal! You are a girl, and you have cute panties on, and a boy just saw it! You're not the least emberassed?!"_

_Maka squints down at him. "No, I am not embarrassed. A Hikaru is looking at my underwear." Maka doesn't see him as a boy?!_

_Hikaru turns red. "Well, I am a boy! And boys could do this!"_

_Hikaru reaches up and pulls down her underwear. Revealing a hairless, undeveloped special place._

_Maka looks down. "W-why would you pull down my underwear, you are not allowed down there!"_

"_I told you! I am a boy, and boys have perverted intentions!" Hikaru shouts turning around. Did he really just see Maka's…?! Because it now feels like he was just imagining things!_

_Maka pulls her clothes back up. "You are what people call perverts, I have a different thought of you!"_

_Hikaru growls and runs out. Maka acted so calm. Why?! He just saw what proves she is female, and she didn't even get emberassed? She really must be some sloth! A sloth alien from the planet Hentai!_

* * *

"Maka is really that kind of person?" Chou asks.

"Yeah, Hikaru had to recover from that from that for weeks. While Maka-kun kept pestering him to get over it." Kaoru laughs.

Chou thinks over it. It's going to be really hard to please Maka.

It seems as though…

Maka-kun is immune no matter what?!

/

**Thanks for reading, and ofr your patience. My laptop had an accident, and it took a few weeks to fix it, and now it is back and ready. :3**


	9. Worst ghost story teller ever

We've been walking for almost an hour, and nothing scary had happened. Tamaki however, was more frightened of me than anything else.

"Tama-"

"Wah! W-what is it Maka-k-kun?" Tamaki says frightened.

"Calm your tits, do I look like I bite?"

"Yes."

"Whatever."

We continue walking when I glance at a bush with the flashlight. "Ah!"

"What?!"Tamaki shouts frightened.

"A squirrel."

"Oh.." He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves.

"Seriously dude, you need therapy." I sigh shaking my head. " I bet you probably wanted to be with Haruhi, huh? Scaredy cat."

"I-it was not for that! I was just concerned of my little girl's safety!"

"Suuure. And you were also expecting to do things with her in the forest. You depraved Senpai." I say poking him to give him shame. "Besides, stop with the daddy crap, you like her don't you? When you refer to her as your daughter and have those perverted fantasies, it's called incest. Bad senpai, you are also a lolicon coz you like younger women!" I tease him enjoyingly. This guy makes me laugh.

"You are wrong! This is why I disowned you as my daughter years ago! You are just like your mother!"

"What mother?!" I laugh. "You mean Haruhi? Doesn't that make me my own aunt? Damn Tamaki, you sure know how to make a messed up family."

"Sh-shut up!"

"No~"

"Why are you so mean to me Maka-kun?"

"Coz it's fun."

"No it's not!"

Off in the distance something cracked. And I took advantage. "Oh Tamaki-senpai~! Have you heard of the Crackle lacker titty smacker?"

"What?!"

I put the flashlight to my face. "This is no typical Serial killer. In fact, he is not even alive."

Tamaki gulps. "Ma-maka-kun please-"

"He stalks the forests of Japan, as he was sexually molested by the camp counselors. Until one day, he decided to take revenge, and he slowly walked into every single camper's and counselor's cabins… and then…"

Tamaki listened intently.

"POP! He attacked! The next morning, everyone's breasts were gone and they all died!"

Tamaki squeals more frightened then ever. He is so easy to scare, and I suck at story telling. "HAHA!" I start laughing like crazy.

"_CRACCKLE._"

"M-make-kun it's not funny Maka-kun cut it out."

"Cut what out?"

Tamaki jumps. "I know you are making that sound!"

"You're delusional."

The crackling continue and the bushes begin to move. "S-slenderman?!"

Tamaki hugs me frightened. "WAAAH! He doesn't exist! Kyoya even told me the five millionth time that he doesn't when I kept bothering about it."

"Now that I realize, those damn twins are the one's who started that crap."

"_CRACK!CRACK!_"

Okay, now that was pretty scary. I turned around looking for whatever was stalking us. "Tamaki get your arms off me, I am allergic to white people!"

"I am not white! I am half Japanese!"

"Same shit." The bushes shook louder as I attempted to get his arms off me. "Damn it! You smell like vanilla, do you consider yourself male?!"

UUUuuuuuuuhhhh~!"

Something moaned. Holy crap, we are going to die!

"T-tamaki, I am sorry for discriminating you, it is actually kind of cool that you are half Canadian."

"It's French! And Maka-kun if you only groomed yourself properly you'd be as cute as Haruhi!"

"You have the strangest fetishes."

"Maka-kun! The truth is I am not really Haruhi's father!"

"No shit you idiot!"

I shut my eyes shut waiting for something to happen. I squint my eyes to see a tall white figure in the distance. Slenderman?!

I lost it. I leaped out of Tamaki's arms and ran for my life, Tamaki running after me.

* * *

"Say, Kyoya. Can an appliance be in love?" Haruhi asks, as they strolled through the forest.

"I'd say you could program it to, but it'd be virtual. It could be an exact replica of what we call love, but it could never be real." Kyoya glances at Haruhi. "Why?"

"Just a rhetorical question."

Kyoya pulls up his glances. "You are speaking about Chou, aren't you?"

"Huh? You know?"

"There's nothing I don't know."

"That sounded creepy."

They continued walking. "I wonder why Maka-kun's brother bought it, and where he bought it from."

Kyoya takes a while to respond. "I've done more research, but I haven't found anything that holds her origins."

"God, what is she anyway?"

Kyoya sighs. "Even I don't know."

* * *

"Kaoru-san, do you need to rest? I could get of here."

"No, I'm alright. Besides, you're hurt, and I would be ungentlemanly of me to not help you."

_But I am not even in pain._

"Kaoru-san, your back feels warm. May I lay my head?"

"um, sure?"Kaoru mumbles.

She lays her head and rubs her cheek against it. "It feels really good right here, I like this part of Kaoru-san"

**T-thump.**"W-what are you saying? It's just my back." He blushes.

"But it feels nice." Chou realizes something. "I am sorry, this will probably cause trouble for your girlfriend."

"I don't have one."

"That is strange, According to my sources, you have feelings for someone. Who?"

**Th-thump. T-thump. **"What feelings? I don't like anyone…"

Chou puts her mouth to his ear. "Kaoru-san, are you feeling pleasure from me in this position?"

Could it be….?!

That Chou can read people's feelings?!

* * *

"Mori-senpai..?! " Tamaki and Maka-kun say in unison.

"Yo."

"Takashi~!" Honey-senpai jump happily.

"So, it looks like the losers today,"

"Is Tamaki and Maka-kun."

Are you serious? "Mori-senpai, why would you scare us like that? And why would you dress lik Slenderman?"

"Honey-senpai is scared easily, and he can't eat spicy food."

And so we were sacrificed.

Damn you fear of white people.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :3**


	10. SHE WONT EVEN LET ME PEE!

" The camping trip is over and we didn't have a single development in the plot!" Tamaki whined, rubbing his head against Haruhi.

"Why would you?" I asked. "You were too busy hiding under your bed after the Slender man incident."

"N-no I was not! I was just checking if there were any bugs down there…"He said.

"Sure, we believe you. "I replied.

We were in the limmo back to Ouran; Haruhi was sandwhiched between Tamaki and Kyoya, I was being molested by Chou, the twins were asleep on one another, and Mori-senpai and Honey Senpai were talking in their FBI language.

"Hey, Maka-kun? What is your favorite color?" Chou asks.

"Brown." I reply.

"Why?"

"Because it's the color nobody likes, and I feel bad for it."

She giggles and hugs my arm. "You are so cute Maka-kun! This is why you are my favorite of all things!" She starts rubbing her boobs on me again. Damnit.

* * *

"What are we going to do about this thing? We don't even know what company she is from?! She's depriving me of my privacy! She doesn't even let me piss!"

Haruhi giggles as she braids Chou's hair. "I find it amazing though, Maka, who knew you were such a Casanova?"

"I never even knew I even had Pheromones."

My phone begins to ring that iphone stereotypical ringtone. "Hello?"

"Makaaaa~! How have you been my loveling?"

"I'll rip your throught open."

"Is that anything you should say to your loving brother! I've been worried about you! Also, Mexicans are so racist, can you believe they thought I was Chinese?!"

"Who knows, you probably are."

"Anyways, how is Claudelia?"

"It's Chou."

"Whatever! You gave her such an object name! She should be treated like princess! Awe man, I really wanted to have her, she's probably drop-dead gorgeous~~~"

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Anyway, Maka-kun! There is also something I must tell you…"

"(annoyed sigh)…what?"

"the company I brought her from, was…."

/

"Hey, Hikaru? Do you maybe think, Chou has a boyfriend?"

"Why do you ask?" Hikaru answered to his brother.

"I-I'm just curious, is all…"

Hikaru stared at his brother. "You liker her don't you."

"I don't!"

"Yes, you do! If you didn't you wouldn't be red like you are now!"

Kaoru didn't even realize when he started blushing. "Anyways, do you think she does?"

"I don't think so, in fact, I don't even think she likes guys."

* * *

"EH?!"

I dropped the phone at my feet. Was my brother serious?!

"Maka-kun? What's wrong?"

No. I can't tell anyone now. I need to think this through.

"I-I need to go the bathroom!"

* * *

How could this be? My Uncle's company? Tanimoto electronics? I can't be! My father told me specifically that Tanimoto electronics was based solely on computer technology, so why would they make a robot for my brother?

I want to go to my uncle's office now and have things explained, but everything seems so sudden.

"Maka-kun~!" I am attacked from the back.

"Wah! Ch-Chou! What the hell is your problem?!"

"Maka-kun did not seem well, so I will like to make you feel better!"

There's nothing that will make me feel better now. I feel confused and deceived.

"Maka~~~. Hey, Maka?"

"What?"

She turns to face me. "I know I am programmed only to please you, but…" She makes a serious face. "I would also like for you to see me as a human being as well! The way everyone else sees me."

That's because they don't know what you really are. "That's impossible."

"I have also been aware that you are immune to everything I say or do." She grabs my hand and brings it up to her lips. "I am also aware that we are both women, but you are my owner and I was made to please my owner. So, please, let me at least do what I was made to do."

For a moment, when the wind blew her hair, she actually looked human. But when the wind died down, I remembered that she is nothing but an electrical appliance. No matter what she says, she will always be a robot.

"Heh, what is that?" I take my hand away and look up at the moon. "To be honest, I wasn't supposed to be your owner; my brother is. So when I find out a way, you will be back to being his robot; so maybe that's one of the reasons why you're of no use to me."

Chou makes a distant face. "I want to be only Maka's. No one elses."

"You don't want me, you're only saying that because you are programmed to. Besides, we couldn't even be together even if you were real; there is nothing we could please each other with."

She was quiet a moment then she did something I totally was not expecting. She kissed my ear. Her lips felt real, and it almost gave me a chill. "W-what are you.."

"Of course I am programmed to, but Maka will be the only one for me and I am sure of that." She then hugged me. "I have realized now that Maka-kun is not pleased by sex, and although I am a lover's robot, just being Maka-kun's girlfriend will be enough. I love you a lot Maka-kun."

**TH-THUMP. **

"M-man! You never listen do you?! Anways, I will definitely not give in you got? No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I will not have sex with you!"

"I know.~"

Is she giving up? I almost had a satisfied moment until she interrupted it.

"Just one thing~!" She grabbed my hands and plastered them on hers. She rubbed my hands against them. "Fuaaaaaaan~!"

"WAH!" I freed my poor hands from the wrath of those boulders. "NO~! You took my finger's virginity!"

She giggled. "That felt so good though~!" She began to moan when I cupped her mouth with my fist.

"Don't masturbate with my hands!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading. :3 And for your patience; and your reviews. ^-^**


	11. Aint nobody got time for that

I couldn't wait togo home to my lovely bed, so I immediately stuffed my pleasant face into my soft pillows, but unfornately my face landed on something soft, but they were not pillows.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON MY BED?!"

Chou looked at me with a 'me no comprendo' look and I sighed in despair. If only Haruhi wasn't too busy studying for her AP Lang test I would be rid of this succubus with a simple press of a cell-phone button.

"Maka-kun if you wanted to suck them you should have just asked." She said, holding her breasts with her hands.

"I'm lactose intolerant."

* * *

"ALRIGHT!"

Everyone stood up in attention position like the soldiers they will never be and then welcomed our teacher in an orderly fashion. But once the teacher sat down everyone got up and when on talking about Gucci and the Forever 21 they had installed in their closet. I'm not naming names, Asiha Kuronama.

Haruhi put her hand on my shoulder and gestured me that it was time. I sighed in despair and stood up.

"Mr. Hankuro, we- um, have a new student."

I eyed Chou to stand up as she was caressing my hand against her cheek in an inappropriate way.

"Well hello. You must be…"

Chou stood up. "My name is Chou Otomina, I'm sixteen years old. Class 1-A. 36C but a size B in sexy lingerie. My blood-type is AB and I live to be Maka-kun's lover!"

The room went silent and it was too late to revert what she just said into something that did not sound like it was excerpted from a Hentai manga.

"Ch-chou you are so silly. She jokes all the time. HAHAHAHAHA!" I sounded like a robot.

Everyone looked at me in shock and I wanted to crawl into the deepest corner and murder my self subliminally. Haruhi had finally decided to sit down Chou and I myself sat down slowly.

I wouldn't be surprised if my teacher now thinks I'm gay.

After the period, Hikaru bursts out laughing.

"Chou you shouldn't tell people about your situation." Haruhi whispers to her ear.

"I am sorry. I just love Maka-kun so much that I want to tell the world." Chou said innocently.

"Well you shouldn't! You'll get me put into a Gay camp at this rate!"

Haruhi laughed. "Why don't you get a sex change. It would solve everything."

"You're right. I should." I smile deviously. "Then I could butt rape Tamaki."

Haruhi looked at me funny. " But Tamaki is a boy."

"Yeah. But it would be ironically hilarious if he got raped."

"But- "

"Shh."

"How is it-"

"HARUHI PLEASE IM TRYING TO WORK. JESUS CHRIST WOMAN LET ME LIVE MY LIFE."

Haruhi sighed. "You are so weird…"

* * *

A wild Kaoru appeared as I sat in the Club room loitering in their room during lunch.

"What up boy." I continued to draw on the host's faces on the magazine Tamaki forced me to subscribe to.

Kaoru was silent until he broke the ice. "Are you and Chou… really…"

I looked up at him waiting for him to finish. But he was just mumbling.

He finally said everything in a whole breath. "Are you and Chou really in that kind of relationship!"

I stared him with a straight face and then continued to draw. "Yep."

"B-but you guys are girls.."

"You and Hika-creep are both guys."

"But it is just for show!" He stands up. "Listen here Maka! I will not lose to you!"

He then slams the door shut. What the hell was that. I wondered if her picked up that I was being sarcastic. "Some people…"

* * *

My lap was becoming sweaty as Chou sat on it for almost eight hours. I almost forget that she's a robot and doesn't ever get hot.

"Can you get off me now? I need to go pee."

Chou stood up reluctantly, but followed me into the stall. "Can I please pee in peace?"

"But I want to know how human's pee."

"Why would you need to know? It's not like you are ever going to pee in _your _life!"

She started playing with her fingers. "Okay fine. I just want to watch Maka-kun pee."

"Why the hell would you want that?!"

Her cheeks got rosy which again trolled me for a second into thinking she was human. It's just some fancy software. Nothing to worry about.

Her face got red. "OH Please Maka-kun! I want to watch you pee! It's all I will ever beg for!"

She is acting like some eleven year old boy begging for a new video game.

"Listen to me! There are limits to things. You can make out with me in my sleep, you can force me to touch your breasts, and you can try to seduce me into penetrating you even though it is logically impossible. But you cannot invade me while I am in the restroom! Capeesh? This is the only place where I can be alone to myself. Go away." I slammed the stall slut.

I heard silence and I decided to just pee. When I finished, I opened the stall and she was still standing there. "I can not help myself Maka-kun. I want you so badly. I was manufactured with this sole purpose; my only dream in life is to have sex with you every single minute of your life. I realize how difficult it is to do what I want. Every other one just like me must be living happily with their partner. But I can not. Because my partner does not want me. "

I put my hand on her shoulder. "We need to send you back. You will only suffer. If robots do suffer in their own robotic way. You are right. I donot want you that way. Neither do I want anyone else in that way. Come on. Let's go."

I grab her hand and walk her to the club room. The only person there is Kyoya, which I took as convenience. "Well how do you do."

Kyoya looked up at me. "Well you're as humorous as ever."

"So anything new?"

Kyoya removed his glasses. "I spoke with your uncle."

"My uncle? Why?"

"I am sure you are aware by now that your uncle was the one who created Otomina, right?"

How the hell does he manage to be one step ahead of me?! "I might be."

"I received information about the software that was used for Otomina. You are aware, that if she does not perform what she was programed to, there is no use for her?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"If Otomina does not have sex with her partner, she is not performing her duties. If she does not perform her duties, she will be scrapped."

* * *

**Hello! Sorry I have not updated. I will try to update more!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DONOT OWN OHSHC OR THE TRADEMARKS USED TO HUMOR YOU.**


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